People thought John* was lucky and things were easy for him. They were so wrong!
John had a successful career, good friends, a lovely fiancée and family whom he adored. Recognised as a future talent in his company, he had benefited from everything to support his career progression: mentoring, leadership and development programmes, executive coaching, interactions with senior management etc. Most people thought he was happy, lucky and things were easy for him. They were all wrong.
John was hiding his deep anxiety, and he was terrified something bad would happen to him. Deep down he never thought he deserved success or lovely people around him, as he did not feel worthy or intelligent.
Years of therapy had not helped him find any long-term solutions to these damaging beliefs. He was anxious that people would discover that he was 'not that good and not that smart'. As a result, he had developed a high level of perfectionism, working incredibly hard to the highest standards, not giving himself the right to be anything but perfect.
The recognition and compliments he received would only convince him that perfectionism at any cost was an absolute key to success. Until we met, he had never questioned or challenged the persistent negative voice and harsh self-judgement that were fuelling his lack of self-esteem and anxiety. In fact, he was convinced that they were keeping him humble and boosting his performance.
John faced his worst crisis when he had to report to a new director, whom he describes as a ruthless manipulative bully, enjoying nothing more than crushing and humiliating people, preferably in front of an audience, while playing the most charming leader in front of senior management.
Three months after this unsavoury character joined the company, John was diagnosed with severe anxiety and prescribed additional tablets to sleep and function. His chronic self-doubt and fear had hit the roof and he dreaded going to work, or reading text messages and emails, as he was living in constant fear of being humiliated and being found out as a fraud and not deserving his job.
Contrary to popular misconception, imposter syndrome does not keep individuals humble or efficient, and it does not boost performance. It holds them back, limit them and hurt them.
Today, John is doing well. In less than four months he eradicated the crippling imposter syndrome he had lived with most of his life. He has regained a healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem. After a thorough assessment, his doctor suggested to slowly reduce his medications.
The first follow-ups were so encouraging that he is now talking about a future free of medications.
Imposter syndrome is not an incurable condition that one must endure for life. It can be addressed and eradicated, no matter how old and how strong it is.
(* Name changed to protect the privacy of the individual)
