Standing ovation at the Royal Albert Hall. 375,000 people cheering at Knebworth. Peak career success.
Yet Robbie Williams was crying, not from joy, but from feeling like a fraud.
In a BBC documentary, he described his "charlatan syndrome": that crushing belief that he didn't deserve any of it. The contrast is heartbreaking: thousands applauding whilst he battled deep loneliness and low sense of self-worth in his head.
About 70% of us experience imposter syndrome at some point.
Feeling not worthy or not enough can lead to addictions of all sorts: sugar, alcohol, drugs, social media, shopping, shoplifting, extreme fitness ... The list is endless. These might numb emotions temporarily, but they make things worse.
Not everyone turns to substances like Robbie did, but that feeling of "not being good enough" can shape our choices in devastating ways.
I see brilliant professionals settling for toxic workplaces because deep down, they don't believe they deserve better. Talented people avoiding promotions, presentations, or opportunities because they fear being "found out."
Dreading public speaking and presentations can also come from a deep core belief of not being good enough.
Sarah was five when her teacher humiliated her during the school performance in front of all the parents. She forgot the incident completely, but decades later found herself dreading any public speaking. Her unconscious mind had decided: never again in front of an audience.
Like many capable people, she limited her career prospects until we uncovered that buried belief. Today she leads a large team and presents to senior executives confidently.
Avoidance feels protective. It's natural. But it feeds the fear and makes it grow stronger.
The first time I had to present stress management techniques to an audience, I really questioned my sanity for accepting. I used every tool I knew to manage my nerves.
It wasn't my best talk, but the feedback was incredible. More surprising was the joy I felt connecting with people and sharing practical insights. Me, the introvert who used to be petrified presenting even to a small audience. That reward for stepping so far out of my comfort zone was immeasurable.
Life experiences, often from childhood, can make us our harshest self-critics. However, there are ways to challenge those little negative voices and poisonous beliefs about ourselves. When we do, the sense of freedom is extraordinary.
The crushing grip of imposter syndrome doesn't have to define us. Many of my clients and I are living proof of this.
